Andrew Gn Resort 2015
get to know me meme: [1/5] musicals
↳ the book of mormon
Exercising good boundaries is important in any relationship: friendships, family members, lovers, work, school, strangers at bus stops, you name it.
If your friend told you that the amount you’re contacting her is overwhelming, try to honor that. Maybe let her know that you are down to kick it pretty much whenever but that you’ll leave it up to her to initiate contact. Then honor that.
I get really overwhelmed easily by friendships too. I like to spend a lot of time by myself. Sometimes maintaining my friendships is really hard because people want to chat and hang out and I just want to watch Netflix with my dogs in a blanket fort. I love my friends, I just don’t need one on one interaction as often as some of them do. And constant chatter annoys the fuck out of me. I can do hang outs in short spurts, but I don’t want to just sit around gabbing most of the time. Maybe for like a half hour once a week I’m in that mood.
If my friends called/texted me more than once or twice a week I’d probably feel overwhelmed too. Even if I loved them dearly and wanted to talk to them.
Shannon lives in my back yard and there are whole days where I don’t talk to her. My other best friends and I talk a handful of times a week, maybe and see each other about once a week.
Basically, I’m telling you all this to let you know that I understand where your friend is coming from and please don’t take her putting up a boundary as anything other than her trying her best to maintain your friendship for the long haul. Introverted or more naturally quiet/introspective types often enjoy the company of others but only in specific circumstances. Listen to what she’s telling you and try to work with her to find a solution where you can still feel like a good friend and she can be less overwhelmed.
reblog if u have never given a HECK
me trying to do a group project
The most accurate post on tumblr…
Disney Designer Series: Heroine Edition
In order of earliest appearance: Alice (Alice in Wonderland, 1951), Tinkerbell (Peter Pan, 1953), Wendy Darling (Peter Pan, 1953), Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996), Megara (Hercules, 1997), Jane (Tarzan, 1999), Kidagakash (Atlantis: The Lost Empire, 2001), Lilo (Lilo & Stitch, 2002), Charlotte (The Princess and the Frog, 2009), Merida (Brave, 2012)
I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS!
This is so true it’s not even funny.
Zuhair Murad Paris Fashion Week 2014 - PASTELS pt 2
An Infinite List of Favorite Collections - Fouad Sarkis S/S 2014 Haute Couture [1/2]
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
- Stay with us and keep calm.
The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.
- Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.
- Move us to a quiet place.
We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.
- Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.
- Speak to us in short, simple sentences.
- Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
- Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
As odd as it sounds, it works.WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:
1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.
Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.
Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”
2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”
Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.
Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.
3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.
Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.
4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.
The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.
Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.